Winter's here and the short days and dark nights can have a negative effect on our emotions.  But believe it or not, your negative emotions can be a positive influence on your life.  You just need to know what to do with them.

Our negative emotions can actually be good for us as they can help us identify what's missing in our own lives, and take positive action to enrich our lives, relationships and careers.

Envy

Whether you covet Sharon Stone's body your best friend's style, wanting what someone else has can totally overwhelm you if you let it.  But envy can be a very useful way of focusing on what's naturally lacking in your own life.  First of all you have to acknowledge it then stop thinking about what other's have and ask yourself what is it you are longing for.  For example, if you are envious of your sister's six-figure salary than it could be a sign that money is more important to you than you may have initially thought so use that emotion to go for that promotion or re-train in a career that will pay you more.

Anger

If you start the day shouting at the kids then get to work and snap at a colleague does this have any upsides?  Losing your temper can be a sign of confidence.  If anger is directed towards a loved one, we feel comfortable and safe with them.  If anger is vented towards a stranger we feel confident at standing up for ourselves.  However, the person on the receiving end will not appreciate it.  You must learn to channel those feelings in more fruitful ways.  Physical exercise can be a great way to vent your anger and let off steam.

Fear

Quitting a job, moving to a new area, ending a relationship - life is full of big decisions that give us ‘the fear'.  But experts think that the more something scares you, the more you need to do it.  They say the most satisfied people are those who set themselves new challenges and dare to follow them through.  But this invariably involves stepping out of your comfort zone.    The book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers offers great advice on how to cope with fear of all kinds of experiences.

So forget trying to be mentally pure 24 hours a day, and instead, make your negative thoughts work for you.

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